Adventure Time

On Saturday I needed to get out of the house and get out of my head. I decided to head to Joshua Tree. I have lived an hour from the national park for 20 years and have never actually been to it. It…


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Why I Swiped Left On Your Tinder Profile

I downloaded Tinder during my freshman year of college, back in 2013. I attended a pretty small Catholic university, and after only a few swipes I recognized someone from my Macroeconomics class. I remember immediately freaking out, hiding my profile, and completely deleting the app from my phone. I thought people would think I was some horny weirdo for being on Tinder! Nowadays, everyone is on Tinder, and the stigma that once surrounded online dating is a thing of the past.

In my 5~ years of swiping since then, I have narrowed down a few red flags I look out for to determine whether or not I’ll swipe right on your profile. Obviously not every girl is the same, but I think these rules are general enough to be applicable to most.

If your profile only has one photo, exclusively group photos, or you’re wearing sunglasses in every picture, I’m gonna be suspicious. What are you hiding behind those sunglasses? Why are you making me compare and contrast your group photos to find the common denominator?! If I can’t get a clear idea of what you look like after swiping through your pictures, I will swipe left. I know that is shallow, but we ARE talking about Tinder here!

This ones a little less scientific, and more of a gut feeling. That being said, if you are either at the gym or the club in the majority of your pictures, the fuckboy sirens are going to be going off in my head. Another huge thing with fuckboys is shirtless pictures. And there is an important distinction between a shirtless picture of you at the beach and a shirtless selfie in your bathroom mirror!

More of a personal preference here, but if you’re trying to get more matches you might want to consider deleting that picture of you holding up a dead deer by its antlers. I just don’t get it? I personally don’t like hunting, but I also don’t get why sooo many guys use hunting pics in their tinder profiles. My theory is that guys take less pictures in general, so they have less to choose from. But don’t be lazy — go take better pictures! Better yet — go take pictures with a LIVE animal, like a cute puppy!

Admittedly your bio is second in importance to your pictures, but there are a few tired lines that I’m SO sick of reading that might earn you a swipe left. These include:

I bet my butt is better than yours!

Looking for a feminist to buy me dinner.

6’5” since height seems to matter on here…

I’m not going to message first

I probably didn’t swipe right if…

I only swiped right for your dog

And any mention or variation of Netflix and chill, anything that feels vaguely patronizing/sexist or the complete absence of a bio!

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