Thoughts From Off the Beaten Path

Walking around a lake, I see a small island. As I wander closer, a small path — partially submerged — appears. Shedding my shoes, I slide my feet into the water, amble across, and drift onto the island. Dense trees and brush surround me. Seeing an overgrown trail, I follow it. Branches whip at my face as I hike through. At the end of the path hangs a blue bench with “LIFE” cut into it. I can’t help but smile at the metaphor. It’s time to sit and think…

Sitting alone surrounded by nature does a lot for my soul. It’s when I feel most at peace and most content. I often fall into a trance-like state thinking about the past and dreaming about the future. Here are my thoughts from one of those moments.

Reflecting on the last year of my life, I have come to 3 realizations.

First off, the universe exists. That’s awesome. No idea why or how, but it does. Then out of all the possible ways for galaxies, stars, and planets to form, somehow the earth pops up and advanced things (like us) can live on it. We have looked at billions of stars and planets and have found no other where that’s the case.

I let that sink in, the enormity of that thought.

But it doesn’t stop there. Out the billions of years the earth has been around, the stuff that make me up decided to exist in a conscious human being with my own thoughts, hopes, and dreams. I just as easily could’ve been a rock or a plant, but no I am a human being. But not just any human being, one who is lucky enough to live during the 21st century in the United States with a loving family. Wow. I have won the lottery dozens of times over. When I contemplate the seeming impossibility of my existence, it makes all my worries appear pathetically inconsequential. From this point of view, how can I be anything but grateful?

When I think about the point of life (a light topic, I know) it doesn’t much make sense if it’s only about me. When it is all said and done, I’ll be dead. It doesn’t matter how much fun I had or how happy I was — it’s pretty hard to feel anything when you’re buried 6 feet down. Whatever is left of me in the world will only exist through the people I’ve touched. So it makes sense that I should live by trying to maximize the lives of those around me. Luckily this perfectly meshes with how I experience happiness. I am often at my happiest when those around me are happy. I am not sure why that is, but it has always been true. I need to try and understand this more…

I often struggle with thinking about the past. A fond memory will come to mind, and I will wish to have that moment back. I’ve heard it said that we look at our past with rose-tinted glasses — meaning we remember it as better than it actually was. All those bored, sad, or embarrassing moments tend to be forgotten when we yearn to have the past back. And even though I know this, I am still guilty of hoping to turn back the clock. Maybe with another chance I would more fully appreciate what I had while I had it. But I have realized that too much of this longing will lead me to miss out on the present and be unprepared for the future. I should be grateful for my past, but remain ready to embrace the present.

I close my eyes, listening to the songs of birds and water lapping against the shore. I take deep, long breaths. This is my peace, my calm in the storm. After just another moment, I open my eyes. Time to go.

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